Sunday, July 21, 2013

Words as Salvation

I haven't blogged in nearly 7 months. I suppose my interest in posting random thoughts and opinions to a nebulous cyberworld of strangers waned. I mean, most people in my real life show little interest in such thoughts, so why go online to force feed validation? It's not that I have ceased to have opinions (I easily can add to the rhetoric surrounding Trayvon Martin, Obama, Edward Snowden, or -  hell, even the Royal Baby) but are they so important to you? Probably not.

I've been struggling with myself lately. Lately - as in, the last 20 years - but it goes in waves. Troughs and peaks. I'm currently in a trough. I'm about to officially enter a new age bracket - the one signifying middle age - and I still feel stuck. I still feel like my life hasn't started. Rather than dreaming about "someday, maybe", I should be smack in the middle of its realization. But I'm not. Kids. A house that feels like a home. A career where I feel useful and like I make a difference. Being loved for me, rather than people saying I should be something else. (And with that last one - no, it's not self esteem issues playing tricks on my mind. If I had a coin for every time someone told me that I'm not good enough in one way or another, I'd be a wealthy girl).

SO why blog now? Why share my story of woe when all it does is make me sound pathetic? Because I realized that the one thing I have, the one thing no one can steal from me or fault me for, the one thing that gives me any sort of identity, is writing.

I've put writing on a back burner. "Life" gets in the way. Work, home, family. How can I indulge in slipping away to a quiet space to write when other, more important things take priority? But I need to do it to reclaim myself. In any small way I can. Will it solve anything or lift me permanently from the troughs? Doubtful, but it's worth a try. As my blog page says, "taking it one line at a time."

And thanks for reading this. Any bit of support is much appreciated. Here we go....

Monday, December 31, 2012

Auld Lang Syne

Here we are - the last day of 2012. As I write this, some areas of the world have already turned the page onto a new year. For a few minutes, I'd like to think back on the year, good and bad, and make way for a better year ahead.

2012 was an eventful year. In my family, we celebrated the birth of my adorable nephew, and mourned the recent passing of my grandfather, a great man who left us after a long life and just two days after my grandparents' 74th anniversary. We survived the devasting Superstorm Sandy, and felt our hearts break for Sandy Hook Elementary and everyone in Newtown, CT. We watched the presidential election unfold after a year of mudslinging and now watch the minutes tick pass as Congress fights over measures to keep our economy afloat. And of course, the world made it through the supposed apocalypse. These are not to make light or ignore many of the other tragedies and triumphs seen around the world; these are just some of the things that were a part of my 2012.

A new year always brings the promise of hope and new beginnings. I will remember what I've gained and lost this year, and will count my blessings, which I've grown even more to appreciate. I will enter the new year with peace, love and forgiveness in my heart, and believe that next year will be brighter.

And I wish the same for you, a new year full of promise and love. From my home to yours, happy 2013!

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Restore the Shore (Sandy)

On October 22, my husband emailed me a link to an article on about a tropical storm forming in the Caribbean that looked like it would trek north. It appeared to be heading our way, but maybe not; the cone of uncertainty was a little wobbly. There was talk of snow. Perhaps another white Halloween, like we had the year before. Perhaps, at worst, it would be another Irene. Probably not.

By midweek, the storm was growing into a hurricane and would continue to move north. Word spread about a cold front moving from the midwest, and a developing nor'easter from the south, all of which would get wrapped into Sandy as she neared the mid-Atlantic coast. With every report, warnings were intensifying. How bad was this thing going to be? People living in New Jersey, New York and surrounding areas were doing what they could to get themselves ready: to stock up with supplies, board-up windows, get gas. We prepared as best as we could.

On October 29, Sandy pounded into NJ. Her strength would rival stories about the Perfect Storm, which ironically took place almost 21 years before, to the day. We have lived through a lot, but nothing like this - not in recent memory.

The storm took place over 2 weeks ago, but I can still hear that screaming wind - that 75+ MPH banshee wail that was so loud, we never heard the tall trees snap in half in our back yard, our chimney cap blow off to land two houses down, the full tree that uprooted and fell against a neighbor's house. I can still imagine how I closed my eyes and braced every time that wind pushed with all its might against our little house, rattling windows and creaking walls. Just after 10 pm, after lights flickered and faded earlier, everything went dark. The whole town was out. Lights flared in yellow, blue and green in the night as transformers continued to pop.

But we were lucky. We survived. Our house still stood with hardly any damage. We still had heat and hot water (thanks to gas and steam). Power was out for a week, but we managed. Others were not so lucky. Every day, we hear stories on the news about the worst hit areas. Loss of life. Loss of homes and all they contained. Loss of landmarks and summer retreats. Loss of transit infrastructure. This was our Katrina.

You may have seen the photos of Seaside Heights, NJ, and the famous boardwalk chewed and spit back into the ocean, or the devastation in Breezy Point, NY. These are only some of the coastal areas that were hit badly. For me, my heart sank when I saw photos of Manasquan Beach, NJ, where I've spent summer days for the last 15 years, and wondered if it would ever be the same again.

Anyone who has read my blog knows how much I love New Jersey, how proud I am to be from this scrappy little state. We may be down but don't ever count us out. You best believe we will come back. But so many people here, and New York, need help - and will probably need help for a long time.

I never ask for much from my readers, but I'm asking now - please be a hero to these people who lost everything. Whatever you can do is appreciated. Below are a few links that you can visit for more info:
American Red Cross
Salvation Army
New York Cares
Occupy Sandy Recovery
Community Food Bank of NJ

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Day of the Girl

Today is October 11, 2012, or, as it's more fun to say 10/11/12.  It's also International Day of the Girl. It's the first day of its kind, and one that hasn't fully reached awareness yet. It was declared by the United Nations General Assembly last year as a day to "to recognize girls’ rights and the unique challenges girls face around the world."

Many people might think "what's the big deal?" - why should girls get a day? Because, every day there is a struggle to be seen as equal. Because girls around the world are being forced against their will into marriage or prostitution at tender young ages. Because girls who are still children themselves are raped and forced to bear children, which often results in injury or death. Because girls in certain cultures are denied an education, suffer poverty, and are not afforded the most basic of human rights. Because girls in China are often aborted before they are even born because boys are preferred under the one-child law. Because girls are still seen as "less than" and that all needs to stop - even here in the U.S., where there is still social suppression of girls and women.

Because girls could do a hell of a lot better running this world than the men, if given the chance!

And on this day, let's remember Malala Yousafzai - the 14-year old girl who was shot in Pakistan by the Taliban because she dared to speak out and fight for her right, and the right of other girls, to receive an education. Her dream is to become a doctor. The Taliban shot her because they felt she was promoting secularism and Western culture. I will say this once - and let's be clear - The Taliban are a bunch of unworthy cowards who could not, in a hundred years, with all their threats and suicide bombs and terror plots, have the strength and courage that Malala has demonstrated. She is an inspiration and her passion will not vanquish because a group of backwards-thinking people do not like what she has to say, nor should it.

It is because of Malala and all girls around the world that we need to refocus our sights on what can be done to help them, to elevate them, to remove these barriers. I don't know that blogging about it here will cause much change - but I hope to at least encourage you to be a part of the conversation. Get outraged. Get motivated. Now, let's get moving...