Restore the Shore (Sandy)

On October 22, my husband emailed me a link to an article on AccuWeather.com about a tropical storm forming in the Caribbean that looked like it would trek north. It appeared to be heading our way, but maybe not; the cone of uncertainty was a little wobbly. There was talk of snow. Perhaps another white Halloween, like we had the year before. Perhaps, at worst, it would be another Irene. Probably not.


By midweek, the storm was growing into a hurricane and would continue to move north. Word spread about a cold front moving from the midwest, and a developing nor'easter from the south, all of which would get wrapped into Sandy as she neared the mid-Atlantic coast. With every report, warnings were intensifying. How bad was this thing going to be? People living in New Jersey, New York and surrounding areas were doing what they could to get themselves ready: to stock up with supplies, board-up windows, get gas. We prepared as best as we could.

On October 29, Sandy pounded into NJ. Her strength would rival stories about the Perfect Storm, which ironically took place almost 21 years before, to the day. We have lived through a lot, but nothing like this - not in recent memory.

The storm took place over 2 weeks ago, but I can still hear that screaming wind - that 75+ MPH banshee wail that was so loud, we never heard the tall trees snap in half in our back yard, our chimney cap blow off to land two houses down, the full tree that uprooted and fell against a neighbor's house. I can still imagine how I closed my eyes and braced every time that wind pushed with all its might against our little house, rattling windows and creaking walls. Just after 10 pm, after lights flickered and faded earlier, everything went dark. The whole town was out. Lights flared in yellow, blue and green in the night as transformers continued to pop.

But we were lucky. We survived. Our house still stood with hardly any damage. We still had heat and hot water (thanks to gas and steam). Power was out for a week, but we managed. Others were not so lucky. Every day, we hear stories on the news about the worst hit areas. Loss of life. Loss of homes and all they contained. Loss of landmarks and summer retreats. Loss of transit infrastructure. This was our Katrina.

You may have seen the photos of Seaside Heights, NJ, and the famous boardwalk chewed and spit back into the ocean, or the devastation in Breezy Point, NY. These are only some of the coastal areas that were hit badly. For me, my heart sank when I saw photos of Manasquan Beach, NJ, where I've spent summer days for the last 15 years, and wondered if it would ever be the same again.

Anyone who has read my blog knows how much I love New Jersey, how proud I am to be from this scrappy little state. We may be down but don't ever count us out. You best believe we will come back. But so many people here, and New York, need help - and will probably need help for a long time.

I never ask for much from my readers, but I'm asking now - please be a hero to these people who lost everything. Whatever you can do is appreciated. Below are a few links that you can visit for more info:
American Red Cross
Salvation Army
New York Cares
Occupy Sandy Recovery
Community Food Bank of NJ

Has it been 20 years already?

"No sir, I don't like it."

That's a quote from one of my favorite '90s cartoons "Ren and Stimpy." (More about that in a minute.)

That's also how I feel about a sudden rash of 20th anniversaries that are cropping up. Not so much the anniversaries themselves - who doesn't love to celebrate important milestones? - but the fact that I've been around long enough to remember when the events were current...and that I was old enough even then to enjoy them. I know, I know: anyone older than, say, 30 is in this boat with me. But seriously. When did we get that old? Why do I find myself telling the "when I was your age" stories? Why do I find myself saying "oh {shoot} ! It can't be 20 years already? Wait, how old am I now? oh man."

20 years ago, Little Chrissy was in 8th grade (incidentally, a 20th class reunion was just scheduled), watching the world break open and events unfold that would define a decade and a generation, and influenced the quirky girl you know today. And now we're remembering, 20 years later:

• Ren & Stimpy: This show on Nickelodeon was cutting edge, and I'm convinced it wasn't designed at all for children but, more likely, stoned college students. But I enjoyed it anyway, as did my best friend, and together we would burst out at random times with the "Muddy the Mudskipper" song or the fake commercial "Log" as a parody to the real "Slinky" commercials. And who could forget "Happy, happy, Joy, joy"? Go ahead - judge me. You know you love it, too.



• Nevermind: The quintessential album of the '90s. You couldn't escape the urgency of "Smells like Teen Spirit" or the dark, flannel-wearing introspection that surrounded it. My older sister had the CD and played it a lot, and so I listened, a lot. Being the confused kid that I was during a poignantly dark period of my life, the angst of every song appealed to me. It didn't matter that my adolescent mind couldn't fully comprehend the context of the lyrics, nor that the majority of kids in my class were listening to R&B and had no idea "alternative" music existed. I didn't follow the trendy grunge look, nor did I understand at the time how important this album was to the sea-change that would befall rock music. It's only within recent years that I came to appreciate the poetry of the lyrics and genius behind the composition. Kurt, you are still missed.



• Pearl Jam and Ten: Yes, the grunge scene was bursting open. As a kid of the sparkly '80s and more in-tune with sparkly new wave than the underground punk scene, grunge was...well, kinda grungy. I remember seeing the video for "Alive" and thinking, that's kind of a cool song. Who would have thunk that they would last 20 years? At the time, I thought they were trying to be a Nirvana knock-off. Boy, was I wrong. Eddie Vedder was like the modern-day storyteller (much like Bob Dylan or Billy Joel, if you will) that spoke to a generation. How many times do we think of "Jeremy" whenever there is a tragic school shooting? Unfortunately, too many.



• Guns N' Roses Use Your Illusion I and II: Kids, I know it's hard to imagine that Axl Rose used to be cool...but 20 years ago, he was. And so was his band. And this double album made them maybe just a little more acceptable by pop radio - with the likes of "November Rain", one of the all-time top rock ballads. Who would have thought the crazy, alcohol-soaked "hair" band could create something so significant? Polar opposite of Nirvana? Sure. But no less important.

There are many, many other 20th pop-culture anniversaries being celebrated - the release of Thelma and Louise (I was too young to appreciate), Wiggles (I was too old to care), the launch of Lollapalooza (I'm still uber-jealous of my sister who attended), and some of the other events noted in this timeline. Still, as Tears for Fears once said, I find it kind of funny and I find it kind of sad to look back, think about our culture and our world 20 years ago, how far we've come and how far we still need to go. In 20 years, what culturally significant events will we celebrate? That Snookie was able to stay out of jail, or that anyone without talent could become an overnight star? Oh...Nevermind.

Leaving Your Mark (pt 2)

So...to get back to pondering about "leaving your mark"...

Lately, I've been reading one of those thin "Images of America" books from my town's historical society - you know the ones: a sepia photo on the front with lots of black and white photos inside and little tid bits about "what was" compared to "what is now." I love learning the history of people, places and things, especially when it's so close to home - literally. That parking lot? Used to be where the town stables were. That housing development? Used to be verdant fields stretching as far as the eye could see. I don't know any of the people in the photographs, but it doesn't matter.

As I flipped through the pages the other night, my husband commented on the photos and wondered what the "next generation" photo book would show. Years ago, at the end of the 1800s through the early 1900s, photographs were a big deal. The technology was new and exciting. Photos were special treasures. They captured moments in time that gave insight.

Fast forward to 2009. Digital technology is current. Photos on digital cameras and phones, no more film. Kodak has recently discontinued Kodachrome film (even if I still love the Paul Simon song). I actually miss taking my roll of film to be developed, anxiously waiting to receive that small package of processed 4"x6"surprises. I supposed you could still have film developed, and I have to say I'm jealous of those who have their own dark rooms and know how to process film. But...it's 2009. For the casual photo-taker like me, it's point, shoot, look at the playback to decide if it's acceptable, download and share. With the exception of my wedding and honeymoon photos, I haven't had photos printed in years. KodakGallery even threatened to remove our online accounts because we continually uploaded albums online but have not printed in the last 12 months.

So, where does that leave our "next generation" photo book? Some might say, nothing's changed. Technology is better, faster, sharper. We'll always have photos. Maybe. But will future generations get a feeling for how we lived? As evident by the ease of deleting photos, among other things, we have become a disposable society - daresay, a restless society - one that may not value things the same way as earlier generations. What do our photos say about us?

Don't mind me...I'm just feeling a bit nostalgic again. But it's food for thought, don't you think?

Leaving Your Mark (pt 1)

This weekend, I saw a bumper sticker that read "Leaving your mark is overrated."

Those 5 simple words struck me. Probably not in the way they were intended, but they struck me just the same.

The bumper sticker was from the "Leave No Trace" Center for Outdoor Ethics shop . The center is basically to help foster understanding, respect and commitment to enjoyment of outdoor activities with the least amount of damage to the environment.

When I saw it, though (ironically, as we were both stuck in NJ shore traffic, no doubt adding to our carbon footprint), it translated in my brain as "Leaving a legacy is overrated." And it blew just about all I had known out the door for that brief minute.

I cannot think of a single person who does not want to leave his or her "mark" on the world. I know I want to. You probably do, too. When my mother passed away over 18 years ago at the age of 39 (8 years from my current age), she had already built a "legacy" that is still highly regarded. As a parent, she, without a doubt, left a lasting impression that shaped (and continues to shape) her children. As a teacher, her students learned lessons that they carry with them today. As a person, she conducted herself with grace, intelligence, and love that remains with all those who knew her. She did not plan or map this out as some kind of strategy; it was organic. It was truthful. She didn't even have social media to help her extend her reach (imagine that). So, then, I ask myself...what will be my so-called legacy.

I struggle with this all the time. Maybe you do, too. Maybe not. Some people are satisfied with just living and having it all sort of come together. What happens, happens. If a legacy emerges, fine. Others have a very specific plan. Whether genuinely philanthropic or self-serving, they may chose actions that change the condition or situation of people or places that will, one way or another, be remembered...at least for a few years. For generations? That would depend on alot of factors, which I won't get into now.

I stress over what my "mark" will be. What are we doing here? What am I doing here? Our lives must serve some kind of purpose, right? Am I doing anything that will improve someone's life, that will make a difference? Is it something that I sought or something that sought me? Am I forcing the change, and is the change needed? Years from now, will anyone even care that I lived? Will I be remembered as a good person or a selfish, lazy one? Does it matter what people might think about me?

Yes, I can really be that neurotic. Welcome to my world. But in all seriousness, after seeing that bumper sticker, it had me wonder...why am I stressing over this? Do I really need to leave my mark? What difference would it make anyway?

I suppose it comes down to this: Whatever the reason for our existence, we are not here to suck dead air and take up wasted space. We are on this earth with each other for a reason, and I believe we each have a talent to bring about a change. Now...all we have to do is figure what that talent and/or change may be...

Do Unto Others

I'll preface this by saying that I'm not an overly political or religious person. Still, I believe in doing what's fair and what's right, in recognizing there are two sides to every coin, and following the Golden Rule.

Apparently, not everyone is on the same page when it comes to treating others as they would want to be treated.

This week alone, we saw an angry white supremisist open fire at the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, DC, killing one. A few weeks ago, a doctor who performed late-term abortions in Kansas was shot to death. A few months ago, another racist went on a shooting spree, among other horrible acts, against any "non-white" people outside of Boston. Then there are those who are vehemently against homosexuals, with current hot topics being the continuous fight against same-sex marriage, as well as some hateful words thrown in Adam Lambert's direction since the American Idol contestant "came out of the closet" earlier this week.

It really saddens the heart.

I appreciate that, under the U.S. Constitution, we are all supposedly protected by the First Amendment. I appreciate that there are people in this world who do not share my viewpoints, and I don't share theirs. What I cannot appreciate is the violence, the hatred, ignorance, and bigotry that still plagues our nation...and the world, for that matter. It's a story as old as time, but you would think as we continue to progress as a modern society, that people would educate themselves and learn to co-exist, respect, and (dare I say) even like those that share this world with them.

Oh (if you'll allow me a few more minutes on my soap box)...and I love when people throw God into the mix. I will not repeat those statements here because, simply, I do not want to give anymore time to them than required. But you know the statements. Now, again, I'm not religious. I recognize that not everyone believes in God, but I do, so if you'll allow me this sentiment...I believe that we are His children and made in His image. I believe that He loves us all the same, regardless of race, religion, creed, sexual preference or whatnot. And I also firmly believe that He would welcome those who live a life of honesty, love, humility and respect (again, regardless of background) instead of those who live with hatred and violence in their hearts.

I'm sorry if I have offended anyone. I just feel that something needed to be said. With that, I leave you with this famous quote from Martin Niemöller

In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me -
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

The Perfect Boss?

File this under "um...ok?"

Ever have an employer who could easily be described as a "Hitler" of sorts?

I have to say, I've been lucky when it comes to having great bosses. No, really. I'm serious. Two people stand head-and-shoulders above the rest, since I would describe them more as "mentors", "friends", and "inspirations" than "bosses." There may have been one or two that raised eyebrows, but none were ever totally horrific. But I know others who have not been as fortunate.

Then there is Rosa Mitterer, a 91-year old woman in Germany who was a maid for Hilter himself back in the 1930s at his retreat house in Bavaria. According to this article in the London-based Mail Online, Hitler was the perfect boss and treated her, and her sister - also an employee - well. Mitterer, the last survivor of his staff from the years just prior to the onset of World War II, remarks, "That he had ordered such terrible things, I just couldn't believe it. Even now, I prefer to remember the charming facets of his personality." Right.

Does this mean even the absolute worst of all mankind has the ability to be human? More importantly, does this mean we need to find a new reference for all loathsome bosses?