Book Crooks

"If you resist reading what you disagree with, how will you ever acquire deeper insights into what you believe? The things most worth reading are precisely those that challenge our convictions."

~Author Unknown

This week was "Banned Books Week" here in the U.S. In essence, it's a week set aside to celebrate "the freedom to read" in the face of schools, libraries and bookstores that think otherwise. This Website, courtesy of the American Library Association, lists 10 of the most challenged books - meaning that schools tend to "ban" these books from their reading lists because, in one way or another, they are deemed inappropriate for school kids to read. Add to this list all of these challenged classics, and you have to wonder what exactly kids DO read in school.

The classic books on the more extended list are classics for a reason. Why on Earth would anyone ban Winnie the Pooh? Because he's a bear who doesn't wear pants? What bear does?

More seriously, I'll turn my attention to two books. To Kill a Mockingbird is an absolute MUST-READ, by children and adults alike. Of the many books I've read over the years, this one remains as my #1 favorite book. Harper Lee paints such a detailed description of the era, the racial tension and attitudes, the quest for morality, the curiosity and innocence of children. This year marks the 50th anniversary of this incredible novel, and has been celebrated by millions as the best novel of the 20th century...and even the best novel of all time. And still, it is banned by some schools for the language and themes, both sexual and racist. But they are not mere words plopped into the pages for shock value or disdain. They are part of the story, the characters, and the ugly truth of racism in the South in the 1930s...or for that matter, today.

Catcher in the Rye is another one that is often banned for language/situations, but it's really no worse than what your kids are watching on TV or hearing on the radio. I remember reading this when I was a teen, thinking it would really be some scandalous, juicy book since it was supposedly "banned." It really was tame. What's notable is the voice used by Salinger for the snot-nosed flunky who is lost in so many ways. It's the voice of a kid who feels alienated but tries to act nonchalant to everyone around him. The voice is not one that is going to turn your kid into a raging alcoholic or sex fiend, or whatever else scares you.

Fun Fact: Parents are the largest group of challengers to books (based on these reports), and they protest against sexually explicit material the most (yet, "inaccuracy" is almost the least reason for challenge.)

So, it's ok to read something totally inaccurate and have your kid remain ignorant than to have them learn from a celebrated novel because it may contain a brief moment of mild sexuality? I guess it's better that they learn about the birds-n-bees from Snooki. Unless kids are assigned Mein Kampf or Osama bin Laden's Messages to the World to read in class, is it really necessary to pull the plug on literature like this?

Maybe not all books are appropriate, but, in every great book, there is always something to learn. There are many ideologies and experiences in this great country of ours that should be celebrated through literature, and unlike many other places, we possess that freedom to do so. Is it really fair to our nation's youth to take that freedom away because of unfounded fear? When a book is banned, you are taking away so much more away than just a book.

Hookd on Fonix

I'll admit it. I'm not the world's best speller. I'm not terrible, but I've never been a part of the Scripps National Spelling Bee, if you know what I mean. Still, it annoys the living daylights out of me when I see people who should know better make blatant spelling errors. Especially in this day and age of spell-checker, there really is no excuse.

Apparently, Jeff Deck feels the same way...only magnified by 100 times. He and his friend, Ben, traveled around the United States trying to correct spelling and grammatical errors whenever possible. Wow. A noble cause, that, but someone has a bit too much time on his hands, no? And their journey is now in book format for all to share in the obsessive compulsiveness.

I prefer the musings of "The Grammarphile" on her blog Red Pen, Inc. In her humorous rantings, she's imploring us to be more careful in our writing, especially when it's intended for public view, and to not be tolerant of such gross errors. OK, maybe that's extreme. Maybe she's just saying "Hey, you people are idiots and I'm going to make fun of you until you're embarrassed enough to do something about it." Or not. But it's still a good blog.

Then there are the people who REALLY should know better, such as:
Painting "SHCOOL" outside of a NC school
Displaying "shcool" on a sign at a FL elementary school
Misspelled inscription at Cambridge University
Misspelling "university" on university Websites

And my favorite - because you know at least one person will misspell one of these words today:
10 words you need to stop misspelling

Leaving Your Mark (pt 1)

This weekend, I saw a bumper sticker that read "Leaving your mark is overrated."

Those 5 simple words struck me. Probably not in the way they were intended, but they struck me just the same.

The bumper sticker was from the "Leave No Trace" Center for Outdoor Ethics shop . The center is basically to help foster understanding, respect and commitment to enjoyment of outdoor activities with the least amount of damage to the environment.

When I saw it, though (ironically, as we were both stuck in NJ shore traffic, no doubt adding to our carbon footprint), it translated in my brain as "Leaving a legacy is overrated." And it blew just about all I had known out the door for that brief minute.

I cannot think of a single person who does not want to leave his or her "mark" on the world. I know I want to. You probably do, too. When my mother passed away over 18 years ago at the age of 39 (8 years from my current age), she had already built a "legacy" that is still highly regarded. As a parent, she, without a doubt, left a lasting impression that shaped (and continues to shape) her children. As a teacher, her students learned lessons that they carry with them today. As a person, she conducted herself with grace, intelligence, and love that remains with all those who knew her. She did not plan or map this out as some kind of strategy; it was organic. It was truthful. She didn't even have social media to help her extend her reach (imagine that). So, then, I ask myself...what will be my so-called legacy.

I struggle with this all the time. Maybe you do, too. Maybe not. Some people are satisfied with just living and having it all sort of come together. What happens, happens. If a legacy emerges, fine. Others have a very specific plan. Whether genuinely philanthropic or self-serving, they may chose actions that change the condition or situation of people or places that will, one way or another, be remembered...at least for a few years. For generations? That would depend on alot of factors, which I won't get into now.

I stress over what my "mark" will be. What are we doing here? What am I doing here? Our lives must serve some kind of purpose, right? Am I doing anything that will improve someone's life, that will make a difference? Is it something that I sought or something that sought me? Am I forcing the change, and is the change needed? Years from now, will anyone even care that I lived? Will I be remembered as a good person or a selfish, lazy one? Does it matter what people might think about me?

Yes, I can really be that neurotic. Welcome to my world. But in all seriousness, after seeing that bumper sticker, it had me wonder...why am I stressing over this? Do I really need to leave my mark? What difference would it make anyway?

I suppose it comes down to this: Whatever the reason for our existence, we are not here to suck dead air and take up wasted space. We are on this earth with each other for a reason, and I believe we each have a talent to bring about a change. Now...all we have to do is figure what that talent and/or change may be...

Not "The Answer Girl"

I just watched "The Answer Man" this weekend, with Jeff Daniels and Lauren Graham. The story is (more or less) this: a man writes a book about his conversations with the Almighty, publishes it and becomes a worldwide phenomenon. He encounters many people, including two new friends, who really need answers to help them through difficult times, but he is reluctant in what he tells them. He avoids interviews, fans, etc. {SPOILER ALERT} In the end, he admits that he, in fact, did not have the conversations with God but rather wrote the questions he had for the Almighty and responses he would have liked to have received. In other words, he was human like the rest of us, without all the answers. (there's more to the story than that, and I do recommend you see the whole movie...)

Now, I can hardly compare this story with my life. However, lately, I've had a few good people ask for my advice on things like career changes, whether or not to get into a relationship, whether or not to get out of a relationship, and how to handle all things considered. I appreciate that these good people come to me and trust me to give a bit of insight. When it comes down to it, all I can do is examine the facts put before me, look at all sides as best as I can, and listen to my heart. But I don't have all the answers.

Also, in my experience, giving advice is a touchy subject - even when solicited. You ask me for feedback? Then, feedback you shall receive. But, it seems, often, that people don't always appreciate the advice unless it's something they want (or expect) to hear. I'll tell you this - you may be as close as blood to me, but I will always try to be impartial and fair and realistic. You want the moon and stars to come down to you because you think you deserve them? Fine. But, please don't expect me to tell you that you're the world's best astronaut.

At the very least, I have this request: if you ask me for advice, please listen. You don't have to follow it, but just listen. I've invested some of my time to give you honest feedback because I care about you. Maybe my advice totally sucks. Again - I don't have all the answers. But an open ear and a "thank you" are always appreciated...someday, I may need your advice.

The Triteness of It

I just read this story on CNN.com about how the word "absolutely" is overused these days. While the piece itself seems like it should be a feature in The Onion rather than a credible news outlet of CNN's stature, the article does kinda have a point.

I mean, when you stop and think how often you hear the word (or say it), you realize its frequency far exceeds its need. Totally. I myself try to switch off between "absolutely" and "definitely" just to mix things up a bit to prevent sounding like a broken record. I'm not even sure why I use those words rather than "yes," "for sure," or the ever-popular "indubitably." As the article says, "absolutely" sounds solid and confident. That is, until it doesn't, when it becomes a hackneyed soundbite that cannot carry the punch we think it will.

Although the article is referring to confident language in not-so-confident times, the principle really applies to other words. One word that irks me is "actually," not only because it's overused, but because alot of people tend to use it incorrectly. If something happened, it happened. You don't need to throw "actually" in the mix as every other word to make your point. Another one is "yeah." I say this like there's no tomorrow; I'm casual like that. A former coworker of mine hated using the word so much that she forced herself to not say it; she thought it sounded childish and, as it were, not confident. I supposed she could have used "absolutely."

There are a ton of other words that irritate the heck out of me for being overused. What words do you either say, or hear others say, way too much? (please keep this clean!)

Lots o' Words

There have been recent reports that this year - April, to be more exact, the English language will reach a milestone of having 1 million words in its lexicon.

Really? In all these years that people have been speaking English, we haven't surpassed that milestone yet?

There are all sorts of statistics - and frankly, I'm feeling a little lazy today and don't want to be bothered looking them all up - that even though we have all these words at our disposal, on any given day, the "average" English speaker uses only a tiny fraction. I had heard somewhere a few years ago, too, that the "average" English speaker communicates on a 5th-grade level, meaning that the more advanced words don't come up in conversation. I would like to see some more data on that.

When I was in college, I took a linguistics course, and remember the professor saying that we invent new words every day, and others that have been in use fade away with time if they become outdated/antiquated. I mean, in today's world, we generally don't use the same language or phrasing that Shakespeare used. Which had me thinking about Urban Dictionary, which brings us all things slang in the English language. Some of the words are just plain funny, and I'm sure the site is really no more than a modified "wikipedia" of language (yeah, you know what I mean).

So, do these slang words count among the verified million? When do we allow a word to become accepted as part of our lexicon and dictionary? Does the million-word-count allow for attrition? I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on our approaching one million words. Have any words to add?

Embracing and Owning

On any given day, I often find myself thinking that I should have done this or I wish I did that instead of whatever it was that ultimately happened. I obsessively go over in my mind all the "wrong" things that happened that were in my control, such as words I may have said or wrote and how I maybe should not have said it that particular way (just an example). It's really a nuisance. I try to convince myself that it happened, it's over, time to move on. Maybe it's not nearly as bad as I think it is. Or not. Maybe it was but no one really noticed. Maybe they did and are just being polite. {I really take the art of being my own self-critic to a new level.}

I go through this exercise daily. It's crazy, yes, I know. Which, I suppose is why I had to smile when I came across this posting on PQ Nation "Owning Your Words". Princess Q quotes Sonia Choquette when she says "Behind every word flows energy." Then PQ urges her readers to "figure out your flaws and your strengths…and OWN THEM. Don’t give ANYONE ELSE power over YOU."

This is the mantra I've been using lately "Embrace your imperfections." Go ahead - call me a head case. I know I am. There, see: I owned that! I have to keep reminding myself that behind all these words flow energy, like superpowers, and they are to be used for good. I really do need some good energy right now.

That's What She Said

Words. Where would we be without words? I'm not talking poetry here today - just, plain and simple, we would not be the advanced species that we think we are without being able to communicate in print, speech, and sign. We're all clamoring for our 5 minutes to say what we want to say, to express ourselves, define ourselves, share ideas with one another, connect with each other. Of course, today - anything goes. The way we communicate with each other has changed, and I don't think for the better (and I'm not referring to the constant barrage of text messages, social networking sites, IMs, and so on.) What are we saying to each other, and subsequently, what are we saying about ourselves?

I don't want to get on my soap box today...but there is just one thing irking me at the moment about language and communication. I was in Steve and Barry's the other day (and for the record, it's a great store, trendy yet inexpensive clothes - my beef is not with the store). My beef is with a girl's T-shirt I saw there that read "Buy Me Things." Seriously? I know, it's just a flirty fun shirt. It doesn't mean anything. It's a shirt. With a stupid phrase. That would make the wearer appear to be, well...a stupid princess with disregard for the people around her. She's the center of attention and everyone needs to bow down and evaluate her worth by how much she has and how much people are willing to spend on her. That's a good message to be sending out, don't you agree?

Well, I don't. No doubt, the shirt manufacturer wasn't thinking about the social or psychological repercussions this simple T would have. They were thinking of the bottom line. The girl who buys the shirt...I'm not sure what she would be thinking. Probably that she's cute and funny. "Oh, no - I don't really believe that you should buy me things." Right. I just think it's sad that girls today think they still have to feed into the stereotype of needy, whiny girls interested only in material things. They should have been able to move beyond that by now. I know - I'm blowing this out of proportion.

Just goes back to my original point. Words are important. Choose yours carefully.
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"The human being who lives only for himself finally reaps nothing but unhappiness. Selfishness corrodes. Unselfishness ennobles, satisfies. Don't put off the joy derivable from doing helpful, kindly things for others. " (B. C. Forbes)