Restore the Shore (Sandy)

On October 22, my husband emailed me a link to an article on AccuWeather.com about a tropical storm forming in the Caribbean that looked like it would trek north. It appeared to be heading our way, but maybe not; the cone of uncertainty was a little wobbly. There was talk of snow. Perhaps another white Halloween, like we had the year before. Perhaps, at worst, it would be another Irene. Probably not.


By midweek, the storm was growing into a hurricane and would continue to move north. Word spread about a cold front moving from the midwest, and a developing nor'easter from the south, all of which would get wrapped into Sandy as she neared the mid-Atlantic coast. With every report, warnings were intensifying. How bad was this thing going to be? People living in New Jersey, New York and surrounding areas were doing what they could to get themselves ready: to stock up with supplies, board-up windows, get gas. We prepared as best as we could.

On October 29, Sandy pounded into NJ. Her strength would rival stories about the Perfect Storm, which ironically took place almost 21 years before, to the day. We have lived through a lot, but nothing like this - not in recent memory.

The storm took place over 2 weeks ago, but I can still hear that screaming wind - that 75+ MPH banshee wail that was so loud, we never heard the tall trees snap in half in our back yard, our chimney cap blow off to land two houses down, the full tree that uprooted and fell against a neighbor's house. I can still imagine how I closed my eyes and braced every time that wind pushed with all its might against our little house, rattling windows and creaking walls. Just after 10 pm, after lights flickered and faded earlier, everything went dark. The whole town was out. Lights flared in yellow, blue and green in the night as transformers continued to pop.

But we were lucky. We survived. Our house still stood with hardly any damage. We still had heat and hot water (thanks to gas and steam). Power was out for a week, but we managed. Others were not so lucky. Every day, we hear stories on the news about the worst hit areas. Loss of life. Loss of homes and all they contained. Loss of landmarks and summer retreats. Loss of transit infrastructure. This was our Katrina.

You may have seen the photos of Seaside Heights, NJ, and the famous boardwalk chewed and spit back into the ocean, or the devastation in Breezy Point, NY. These are only some of the coastal areas that were hit badly. For me, my heart sank when I saw photos of Manasquan Beach, NJ, where I've spent summer days for the last 15 years, and wondered if it would ever be the same again.

Anyone who has read my blog knows how much I love New Jersey, how proud I am to be from this scrappy little state. We may be down but don't ever count us out. You best believe we will come back. But so many people here, and New York, need help - and will probably need help for a long time.

I never ask for much from my readers, but I'm asking now - please be a hero to these people who lost everything. Whatever you can do is appreciated. Below are a few links that you can visit for more info:
American Red Cross
Salvation Army
New York Cares
Occupy Sandy Recovery
Community Food Bank of NJ

Let Love Rule 2011

Just a few days ago, New York became the sixth, and largest, U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage. I join in the millions of supporters when I say: "Way to go, New York!" This is exciting news and gives hope to many, many others who still do not have that freedom.

Just across the river, in my little state of New Jersey, our governor still say "No way." Normally, I would appreciate someone sticking to their guns, not giving up on their convictions or giving in to social pressures. But...this is different. This is about human rights, civil rights, and the freedoms that we should be able to celebrate in this awesome country of ours.

There was an editorial in my local paper yesterday briefly explaining who is permitted to marry in NJ and who cannot. Can you believe that first cousins can marry in NJ, as well as children under 18 years of age (with parental consent)? What is this - backwoods U.S.A.? Poor Arkansas is always the punchline of those jokes about cousins marrying, but guess what? It's prohibited in Arkansas! And still, gay couples cannot marry.

I know that not everyone shares my viewpoint or supports gay marriage. I appreciate that they have their own perspective. In fact, in a poll on CNN.com, public opinions were split 60% in favor, 40% opposed to legalization of gay marriage. But I cannot, for the life of me, understand how one can justify denying another human being liberties that they themselves are granted. And the arguments don't hold water. Let's try to break it down.

- Gay marriage defies the sanctity of marriage. What about heterosexual couples that cheat or divorce on a whim? Is that ok because they're straight? What about Arnold, John, Anthony and the countless others who have veered off the Golden Path? The public is outraged for about 5 minutes and then forget about it...maybe even forgive, especially if said-cheater makes a lame attempt at redemption via "rehab" or tries to rebuild via a talk show.

- Gay marriage goes against the Bible and God's law. Maybe. But after 12 years of Catholic school and religion classes, I don't recall reading anything of the sort in the Bible (although, as you can imagine, we received the proverbial "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" lectures). And unless those who use this as an argument personally visited God at home and discussed this topic at length over tea, I highly doubt anyone can say with any certainty this is how it should be. And if that's not enough for you, think about the Golden Rule. Now think about the Ten Commandments. Now, repeat the line in either one that states that gay marriage is wrong. Go on, I'll wait.

I thought so.

- The purpose of marriage is procreation. Is that all? Man, am I in trouble. So are the countless others who either don't have children or can't have children. And all this time I thought I married my husband because we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Boy, was I a dummy. What about those people who have children within the sanctity of marriage who neglect or abuse their children, or worse? Are you not outraged by that more so than if a gay couple married?

- Marriage is a sign of commitment and gay couples cannot commit. Really? I know gay couples that have been together longer than most straight couples. Also, do you realize that the divorce rate in the U.S. is 50%? That's a big number. Many people I love dearly are divorced, and I realize that there are a multitude of reasons for it. To assume that heterosexual couples are immune to these issues, or that gay couples are subject to them, is just plain absurd.

My point is not to offend. My point to make people think. Isn't it time that we move along with the times and realize that a change has to come?

It's a Jersey Thing

This week, the folks at "South Park" aired the highly-anticipated, highly-controversial (would it be "South Park" otherwise?), and absolutely hilarious episode about New Jersey.

You could look at the episode two ways:
1) The creators of the show truly hate all things New Jersey, and like most people who have never been here, think we're all a bunch of idiots just like those seen on TV and in the movies, and this was a statement on how our state sucks - OR -
2) Like any intelligent person, they were mocking the idiots on TV and in the movies who "represent" New Jersey because the whole thing is so absurd. Either way, the creators of "South Park" show no mercy to anyone or anything, and NJ was just ripe for the plucking. Although the bit about a certain terrorist group helping out was just unnecessary.

I want to call attention to two sites:
Jersey Doesn't Stink - because, well, it doesn't. It rocks.
New Jersey Hall of Fame - because you would be surprised who calls/called NJ "home."

The "South Park" episode inserts the phrase "It's a Jersey thing. You wouldn't understand." throughout the show to insinuate that raucous fights, orange skin, slicked hair, gold chains and rings, and an overall obnoxious attitude is...well, a Jersey thing. It's not. Maybe certain pockets of people...who are also mocked by the rest of New Jersey.

You know what's a Jersey thing?
- The Jersey Shore, the Pine Barrens, the Highlands
- The Geraldine R. Dodge Poetry Festival
- Jersey Fresh produce and wine
- Dinosaurs (ok, not exclusively a Jersey thing, but still cool)
- Weird NJ
- Pride in our state
- Talent (see NJ Hall of Fame or this list for a taste)
- Music, music, and music:



And so, so much more.

My dad used to say "If you can do it, it aint' bragging." New Jersey can definitely bring it, so there should be no wonder why we carry such pride for our little state.

Or maybe it's just a Jersey thing. You wouldn't understand.

The Case of the Disappearing Concert

Lately, it seems every media outlet is talking about the demise of the venerable concert industry in the U.S., especially this summer when ticket sales are lower than usual and dates are being canceled. Most experts point to our slumped economy and the empty pockets of would-be concert goers.

No doubt, it is a contributing factor. Even those who still have jobs and income are being more cautious with their money. Gone, for the most part, are the days of frivolous spending. We want value for our money - more for less - or at the very least, some sense of satisfaction after our hard-earned cash vanishes before our eyes. For me, It's been a long time since I felt that way about a concert.

I love music and going to concerts, especially during the summer. I wait with anticipation for the slow winter months to inch into the subtle airs of Spring, when all the major venues in my area release their summer concert schedules. I eagerly pore over the schedules, mentally rating each show from must-see to must-skip, ready to determine which are worthy of my money. It's becoming more of a challenge every year. This summer? No concert tickets for me. None deemed worthy.

Why?

1. I'm tired of the exorbitant ticket prices. Paying over $100 for a seat without a view for a lackluster performance is not my idea of fun. I admit, only once in my life did I pay an outrageous amount for tickets - it was for Madonna. The show was mediocre, seats were worse, and I took it all as a learning experience. If I'm paying that kind of money, I want to be brought on stage with the performer and have them sing only to me. And since that's not going to happen...
   
   
2. It's not just the prices but the fees. Live Nation actually just had "No Service Fee June" to lure reluctant ticket buyers. I would like to see some statistics on the success rate of this promotion. One blog from the Boston area reported that ticket sales rose 40% in the first two weeks of the promotion. Still, though, are reports of overall ticket sale slumps. Hmm. And it's July, ya'll. Fees are back.
   
   
3. Concert gods, this is the best you have to offer? I like all kinds of music, I really do. But geez - throw me a bone here! Concert offerings are so disappointing for me this summer: Iron Maiden? (No.) Meat Loaf? (For all that is holy in good music, no!) Lilith Fair? (You know I would have been all over it, 10 years ago, when I went through my girl-power, female rocker, angry-young-girl phase...and though I love Sarah, I'll have to pass on her weak line-up and the fact that her site lists "New York, NY" as the location for my area, even though it's in central NJ. [Sarah, baby, please learn your geography.]). Too old and aware for Bamboozled and too far away for Coachella, Glastonbury, Lollapalooza, and will just miss being in the area by one week for ACL. Too slow to get online for Lady Gaga. Too energetic to hear "Roxanne" set to strings. All Points West is dead because, apparently, New Yorkers can't be bothered to cross the river and New Jersey concert goers are not good enough.
   

So, it's a grim concert season. My only hope right now? A small, local festival - the Union County Music Festival - that is free (and probably just as hard for New Yorkers to get to) with awesome performances from two of my favorites: Spoon and The Bravery. And maybe the beacon of hope and all that concerts should be will shine brightly for the industry to see...and maybe, just maybe, next year will solve the case of the disappearing concert.

Such Random Things (NJ edition)

• It's official - Super Bowl XLVIII in 2014 will be held at the New Meadowlands Stadium...in NEW JERSEY, thank you very much! Not New York. Even the so-called New York teams play in New Jersey. Just admit it, New York. You wish you were us.


• Is it the end of an era? The end of times? The end of the innocence? No. It's just the end of fictional TV shows, people. Life will carry on. Except if networks resort to more trashy reality shows (especially about NJ!) to fill the empty time slots. Then, I would share your tears.


• Just watched the original "Karate Kid", for the umpteenth time. Classic '80s. You can't remake a classic and still think it will be as good as the original. "Karate Kid" (2010) may or (more likely) may not live up to the hype. Either way, it just can't compare to the story of Jersey transplant Daniel LaRusso learning the ways of the master, Mr. Miyagi, and getting the girl in the end (played by real-life Jersey native Elisabeth Shue)


• It's almost Memorial Day weekend and around these parts, that means alot of good things - most notably, the start of beach season! Think you know the Jersey Shore by watching those orange kids punch each other out? Sorry, friend. This is the real Jersey Shore. And this. And I'll be there. Maybe you'll be, too.

I'll Tell You Which Exit...

When I was a freshman at an out-of-state college, little naive Chrissy was asked by her professor "Which exit?" when I told him I was from New Jersey. Believe it or not, I didn't get the joke. I know.

It's really amazing that my little home state has endured such a horrible reputation. Why? I never understood. All the jokes and comments and stereotypes are based on biased feedback from out-of-towners who only drive down the NJ Turnpike (yes, I'll admit - I hate that road, too and will avoid it when I can) or see the hideous sites around Newark Airport. Or watch TV.

I've heard enough about Snooki and her poof, and the rest of the gang at Jersey Shore. For all the hype about how offensive the show is to Italian-Americans, we have to remember: these kids aren't even Italian. And they're not from Jersey. And they're they reason, for at least 30 years - probably more, it's known as "Sleaze-side." And they truly need to grow up and get off TV.

We'll soon have more of the same with the upcoming Jerseylicious. I'll tell you, I wouldn't want any of them touching my hair.

We have our loudmouthed Cake Boss, who does make some amazing cakes - but he just needs to cool it with the attitude a little. But then again, there wouldn't be a show, would there?

Before that, we had our desperately gaudy Real Housewives of NJ. Oh, my gawd. Seriously. My sister said she knew someone who flipped a table like that. If that's true, it's sad. But not "real."

I won't even get into talking about the Sopranos.

With gems like these, it's no wonder the rest of the country hates us. Do we have our quirks? Of course. Do we have corruption and crime and guidos and all that New Jersey is known for? Sure. But we also have "normal" people - wonderful families, with normal jobs, that talk in normal tones and care about things a little more important than bronzer and hair gel. Where are the shows about that? Do people realize that we have lovely countryside, mountains, streams - beautiful, quiet beaches! Our state is steeped in tradition and history, but you would never know it. Maybe it's not as captivating as the charade taking place in a nasty hot-tub, but to TV viewers, it would certainly be something new. "What do you mean, put normal people on TV?" Yeah. Just a little cibo for thought.

Your Guide to The Hunt

Tomorrow I will be once again partaking in the Far Hills Race Meeting, more commonly referred to as "The Hunt." This will be my fourth or fifth year (I lost count after a while.)


Those of you in New Jersey have no doubt heard of this annual fundraiser and its reputation for being one of the grandest, rowdiest, high-priced tailgate party east of the Mississippi. More often than not, it's a bunch of rich college kids drinking way too much. Sure, you'll get the conservative crowd with their fancy spots, waiter service, high heels and cigars but for the rest of us, it's a chance to get together with some friends and have a good time, whatever shape we're in. My group is a little older (not college age) and do not try to be anything other than what we are, but we fit in anyway. I have to say, it is not a very ethnically diverse crowd, which only exasperate the stereotype (a true one at that) of it being geared toward white, upper middle class prepsters who try to "out-prep" one another. For someone like me, the crowd watching is just plain hilarious.

So, since I've been to a few of these things, I offer my insight and "survival guide" to you first-timers:
1) Prep your stomach and liver for mass quantities of alcohol consumption. Some start doing this Friday night/Saturday morning. Whatever works for you. For me, as I'm not one to frequent keggers anymore, I pad my stomach with bread and such before the drinking starts. Whatever you do, just remember: no one likes stepping into vomit on the field - least of all, Muffy in her Prada shoes, so do what you have to do to avoid it.

2) Dress weather-appropriately. Without fail, on the very day of The Hunt, an Arctic front blows in and it's freezing. This is only made more interesting by the deluge of rain that tends to also fall. It's like Mother Nature turns the switch just for us. One year, it rained so hard and the fields were so muddy, mud splashed all the way up to my thighs on my jeans! You're exposed for 5, 6, maybe up to 8 or 9 hours, so to avoid hypothermia, bundle up! Wear layers.

3) Wear appropriate shoes. I'm sorry - Prada heels are not appropriate, even if you're stuck with Thurston Howell III under his lush corporate tent and not parading around the grounds. Heels can sink into mud and dirt. Wellies are de rigeur on those days when you could have taken Noah's Ark to the races instead of the train. Men wearing penny loafers and argyle socks are just hilarious, but if it makes you feel good - go for it.

4) The Train. What to say about the drunk train. Board early, if you can, to get there. Watch the fields crossing over to the rails (see #2 and #3). Board early, if you can, going back. Fight for a seat. No one likes that jerky motion after chugging your weight in beer. Your stomach will thank you.

5) Bring dollars. At whatever site you find yourself, no doubt there will be betting. We just do for fun, so our group usually bets a dollar a person (although new comers to our spot this year are trying to mix it up, and I can't see the rest of us being down for that.) White boards are optional. We'll have one this year; I'll let you know how it works.

6) Have fun. It's what the day is about. I'm sure the proceeds of the day are going to a good cause, but being that I live in Essex County, I have not, nor will I probably ever, find myself in the halls of Somerset Medical Center. I'm not going to take the day, or myself, too seriously.

I would like to hear your stories about The Hunt - whether from this year or previous years. What have been your experiences, and what tips would you add to this list to help out Virgin Hunters?

New Jersey and You

I'm fiercely proud of my little home state - it's a humble place, if you will. Small in size, crammed to capacity (supposedly, the 9th most populous state), the little brother to New York City and the cousin to Philadelphia, taking the brunt of many juvenile jokes of those just jealous that they don't live here. Scandals? Sure. Corrupt government? No doubt. Mobsters and mysterious meetings at abandoned loading docks? Possibly. More likely, you've watched too many Sopranos episodes. What about our beautiful natural beauty of the shores, the mountains, the Pine Barrens, quaint Victorian towns? What about the strong-willed, down to earth people - always the underdog? There is so, so much more about our state that I love. Truly.

You know what else is great about Jersey? The amount of talent that comes pouring out in a continual flow. There are countless actors/actresses, musicians, authors, just to name a few categories, that are astonishing (and by the way, rarely do you ever see one of these "celebrities" deny their connection to the Garden State. Coincidence?) And then, there are the poets.

A few weeks ago, Alfred Corn blogged about a recent trip to NJ to visit the haunts of our most noted poets. He asked, "I wonder if anyone has written an article or book about poetry and the Garden State?" Yes, Mr. Corn - quite a bit.

Even though our most noted poets are long gone - and we don't even have a state poet laureate, the scene is still alive. Heck, even the South Mountain Poets meet at my local library (no - I haven't mustered up the nerve to attend their meetings. I think it's residual after I was told at my first poetry club meeting in college that my poem was "sing-songy" Maybe one day...)

So, here are some worthwhile sites for those from NJ...or those who want to see what our little state has to offer:

New Jersey Poets and Poetry (blog)

NewJerseyPoetry.com

NJ Poetry Voices

BJ Ward

A few years ago, I became a fan of BJ Ward, a college professor and writer from my local area who has published three books of poetry. What made me a fan was his work in Gravedigger's Birthday, which is reflective of his blue-collar upbringing in New Jersey. A person (especially in this area) can truly relate to his words for all their grit and sincere depiction of what his life is really like; there is no confectionery dusting to it.

I admire his work because in my own, I have trouble breaking through the barriers - saying in plain language what I need to say and describing the circumstances in jagged tones instead of glossing over. Not to say life's all doom and gloom; it's just not all pink and bubbly either.

If you're in the area, he'll be reading at The Pavillion at Nassau Square Park in West Winsor, NJ on Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 4:30 PM.

From Gravedigger's Birthday by BJ Ward:
The Star-Ledger

287 was the long road to the newspaper plant
my black-handed father would ride beneath
the weight of a night sky.
A father who works the night shift
knows that weight, how it accumulates from within
when his mistakes and debt
begin to press on his children and wife.
And so went his life-
If the stars spelled something real,
they might spell the equation
that my father never mastered--
the news just ran through his hands
and what slid there left the black residue
of the world's doings, pressed knowledge
that read like misaligned tea leaves in his hardening palms,
and in his life line and heart line and other lines
that would normally speak a fortune,
the night just accumulated itself-
a little sky he would spread over us
when the world redelivered him in the morning.