Has it been 20 years already?

"No sir, I don't like it."

That's a quote from one of my favorite '90s cartoons "Ren and Stimpy." (More about that in a minute.)

That's also how I feel about a sudden rash of 20th anniversaries that are cropping up. Not so much the anniversaries themselves - who doesn't love to celebrate important milestones? - but the fact that I've been around long enough to remember when the events were current...and that I was old enough even then to enjoy them. I know, I know: anyone older than, say, 30 is in this boat with me. But seriously. When did we get that old? Why do I find myself telling the "when I was your age" stories? Why do I find myself saying "oh {shoot} ! It can't be 20 years already? Wait, how old am I now? oh man."

20 years ago, Little Chrissy was in 8th grade (incidentally, a 20th class reunion was just scheduled), watching the world break open and events unfold that would define a decade and a generation, and influenced the quirky girl you know today. And now we're remembering, 20 years later:

• Ren & Stimpy: This show on Nickelodeon was cutting edge, and I'm convinced it wasn't designed at all for children but, more likely, stoned college students. But I enjoyed it anyway, as did my best friend, and together we would burst out at random times with the "Muddy the Mudskipper" song or the fake commercial "Log" as a parody to the real "Slinky" commercials. And who could forget "Happy, happy, Joy, joy"? Go ahead - judge me. You know you love it, too.



• Nevermind: The quintessential album of the '90s. You couldn't escape the urgency of "Smells like Teen Spirit" or the dark, flannel-wearing introspection that surrounded it. My older sister had the CD and played it a lot, and so I listened, a lot. Being the confused kid that I was during a poignantly dark period of my life, the angst of every song appealed to me. It didn't matter that my adolescent mind couldn't fully comprehend the context of the lyrics, nor that the majority of kids in my class were listening to R&B and had no idea "alternative" music existed. I didn't follow the trendy grunge look, nor did I understand at the time how important this album was to the sea-change that would befall rock music. It's only within recent years that I came to appreciate the poetry of the lyrics and genius behind the composition. Kurt, you are still missed.



• Pearl Jam and Ten: Yes, the grunge scene was bursting open. As a kid of the sparkly '80s and more in-tune with sparkly new wave than the underground punk scene, grunge was...well, kinda grungy. I remember seeing the video for "Alive" and thinking, that's kind of a cool song. Who would have thunk that they would last 20 years? At the time, I thought they were trying to be a Nirvana knock-off. Boy, was I wrong. Eddie Vedder was like the modern-day storyteller (much like Bob Dylan or Billy Joel, if you will) that spoke to a generation. How many times do we think of "Jeremy" whenever there is a tragic school shooting? Unfortunately, too many.



• Guns N' Roses Use Your Illusion I and II: Kids, I know it's hard to imagine that Axl Rose used to be cool...but 20 years ago, he was. And so was his band. And this double album made them maybe just a little more acceptable by pop radio - with the likes of "November Rain", one of the all-time top rock ballads. Who would have thought the crazy, alcohol-soaked "hair" band could create something so significant? Polar opposite of Nirvana? Sure. But no less important.

There are many, many other 20th pop-culture anniversaries being celebrated - the release of Thelma and Louise (I was too young to appreciate), Wiggles (I was too old to care), the launch of Lollapalooza (I'm still uber-jealous of my sister who attended), and some of the other events noted in this timeline. Still, as Tears for Fears once said, I find it kind of funny and I find it kind of sad to look back, think about our culture and our world 20 years ago, how far we've come and how far we still need to go. In 20 years, what culturally significant events will we celebrate? That Snookie was able to stay out of jail, or that anyone without talent could become an overnight star? Oh...Nevermind.

Rockin' in the Free World

Two years ago, I blogged about one of the best radio stations I've ever had the privilege to experience: WRXP 101.9. I've been a faithful listener ever since.

But for how much longer?

News surfaced recently about the station's acquisition by Merlin Media from Ennis Communications. Now rumors are spreading like wildfire that the station's rock format will flip to either talk/news radio, or, less likely, a country music station.

For me and thousands of other listeners in the NYC area, this is tragic news. When I heard this news, I felt like Merlin killed a piece of my soul and will not be satisfied until my entire soul is dead. Maybe this seems like I'm over-reacting, but consider this:

1) KROCK and WDRE/WLIR changed owners/formats a few years ago, as did WHTG in New Jersey. There is WDHA, a classic rock station, also based in New Jersey - but without WRXP, fans of modern rock, alternative and new music will not have a place to call home. Once again, we will be disenfranchised. Once again, we will be told that we do not count. Once again, these station owners will be absolutely wrong.

2) People like to say that New York is not a rock-and-roll town. I can't think of a place that's more rock-and-roll. It's not just about the beat. It's not just about the music. It's the attitude. It's freedom at its rawest, in the shadow of the very symbols of American freedom. Trying to separate NYC from its rock roots is impossible. And it will not roll over and play dead for talk radio.

3) This article gives a quote describing Merlin Media's CEO, Randy Michaels, as "...a guy who loves radio. He adores it." Really? Which part? The money? Or transmitting absolutely useless crap that stirs no emotion to a sea of people who may only listen as a sleeping aid. Very sad.

I don't want my musings to come across like a kid whose favorite toy is being taken away. No. As a college-educated professional in my early 30s, I am representative of the very demographic that stations should be trying to reach, rather than kicking them in the stomach. One of the key things a potential Merlin Media employee must do, according to their own site) is "preserve and enhance the good will." Really? It would seem that Merlin - a company that's just a few weeks old - is tromping all over "good will." Way to build a legion of loyal listeners. Clearly, if Merlin flips formats, suspicions that they are only interested in money will be confirmed.

As the lowly peon on the bottom of the food chain, perhaps my words don't matter. Perhaps they will fall on deaf ears - tone deaf ears - and they will have no impact whatsoever. But perhaps a sea of words will create a flood of change and stop this format flip before it's too late.


I want to keep rockin' in the free world. Do you, New York?

Join on Facebook: Save Rock 101.9
Contact: Merlin Media

Let Love Rule 2011

Just a few days ago, New York became the sixth, and largest, U.S. state to legalize same-sex marriage. I join in the millions of supporters when I say: "Way to go, New York!" This is exciting news and gives hope to many, many others who still do not have that freedom.

Just across the river, in my little state of New Jersey, our governor still say "No way." Normally, I would appreciate someone sticking to their guns, not giving up on their convictions or giving in to social pressures. But...this is different. This is about human rights, civil rights, and the freedoms that we should be able to celebrate in this awesome country of ours.

There was an editorial in my local paper yesterday briefly explaining who is permitted to marry in NJ and who cannot. Can you believe that first cousins can marry in NJ, as well as children under 18 years of age (with parental consent)? What is this - backwoods U.S.A.? Poor Arkansas is always the punchline of those jokes about cousins marrying, but guess what? It's prohibited in Arkansas! And still, gay couples cannot marry.

I know that not everyone shares my viewpoint or supports gay marriage. I appreciate that they have their own perspective. In fact, in a poll on CNN.com, public opinions were split 60% in favor, 40% opposed to legalization of gay marriage. But I cannot, for the life of me, understand how one can justify denying another human being liberties that they themselves are granted. And the arguments don't hold water. Let's try to break it down.

- Gay marriage defies the sanctity of marriage. What about heterosexual couples that cheat or divorce on a whim? Is that ok because they're straight? What about Arnold, John, Anthony and the countless others who have veered off the Golden Path? The public is outraged for about 5 minutes and then forget about it...maybe even forgive, especially if said-cheater makes a lame attempt at redemption via "rehab" or tries to rebuild via a talk show.

- Gay marriage goes against the Bible and God's law. Maybe. But after 12 years of Catholic school and religion classes, I don't recall reading anything of the sort in the Bible (although, as you can imagine, we received the proverbial "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" lectures). And unless those who use this as an argument personally visited God at home and discussed this topic at length over tea, I highly doubt anyone can say with any certainty this is how it should be. And if that's not enough for you, think about the Golden Rule. Now think about the Ten Commandments. Now, repeat the line in either one that states that gay marriage is wrong. Go on, I'll wait.

I thought so.

- The purpose of marriage is procreation. Is that all? Man, am I in trouble. So are the countless others who either don't have children or can't have children. And all this time I thought I married my husband because we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Boy, was I a dummy. What about those people who have children within the sanctity of marriage who neglect or abuse their children, or worse? Are you not outraged by that more so than if a gay couple married?

- Marriage is a sign of commitment and gay couples cannot commit. Really? I know gay couples that have been together longer than most straight couples. Also, do you realize that the divorce rate in the U.S. is 50%? That's a big number. Many people I love dearly are divorced, and I realize that there are a multitude of reasons for it. To assume that heterosexual couples are immune to these issues, or that gay couples are subject to them, is just plain absurd.

My point is not to offend. My point to make people think. Isn't it time that we move along with the times and realize that a change has to come?

Love Thy Self

Ok, let's just get the obvious out of the way. Yes, it's been two months since my last post. No, I have not been wandering Bora Bora, been locked in a dungeon or anything of the sort. Just plain old busy.

Which is kinda a good segue into my post. Why do I feel the need to explain to my few wonderful readers out there why I haven't posted recently? Furthermore, how do I know it's just "a few" of you out there? Well...yeah, that's a little easier to quantify, but my point is...there's always that evil, little monkey in the corner of my brain that screams about living up to expectations...and feeling guilty about it when I don't.

Sure, most of the time, these are self-imposed expectations - things that should make me feel more confident about life, but more often than not, they make me feel worse. Way worse. To the point it changes-my-whole-disposition-kind of worse. I should live in a better home, have a better job, wear better clothes, weigh less, have perfect hair, be the confident, perky, radiant woman I'm meant to be. But then I realize "should" is not the same as "is" and that's when the trouble starts. There is a fear of admitting "failure". Even now, there is a sense "I should not post this", "what will they think?", "what if this sounds lame and my point isn't clear?" But that's also part of the shame and feeds into the perpetual cycle.

Which is why, when I saw this article about self compassion, I felt for once that I'm not alone in my experience. And reiterating that "the secret to success is the ability to fail." Not to say that failure is the goal, just - that we all fail from time to time, no one is perfect, and we have to be gentle with ourselves. Easier said than done. Bad habits are hard to break. But it gives me hope - and I'm posting this so that maybe I can pass along that hope to someone else.