I listen to the Crosby, Stills and Nash song "Our House" and feel calm. I imagine sunbeams shining through the clean windows onto a table dressed with a fresh gingham cloth and flowers. There is a nice white picket fence in the front. And maybe a cat or two in the yard. [Or not. My husband and I are more "dog people." But you get the idea.]
Then, I actually think about our house...which doesn't resemble any of that.
At least, not yet.
We have been working on designs and plans of a new and improved home...for a while. And we're so nearly close to starting the actual reconstruction/remodel. So close, yet a million miles away.
You see, our plans do not include a simple coat of paint and a few new windows. No. That would be easy. Instead, we're planning to more or less demolish and rebuild. And it truly needs it. Still, envisioning spacial arrangements is not exactly my forte. Ask me to decorate, I'm all over it. Tell me a room is this square footage, my eyes glaze over. I know. Could I be any more stereotypical?
My husband, bless him, has been wonderful and really spear-heading all of this. He understands the things that need to happen. I've been dragging my feet a bit, to his unbelievable patience, because at this point, I just don't care what the new house looks like as long as it's not the old house. But then, there are all the voices: You should do this; you should add that; that's not the way you should do it; we did this and you should too; have you picked out your tiles yet?; make it simple; make it the house you want; you should purchase the most expensive everything to add value to your house.
And my personal favorite: "How's the house coming along?" (if you personally know me, please do not ask me this. You'll get the same answer as the last time you asked me. No offense. I'll give you an update when there is an update to give.)
I'm sure I'll be blogging more and more about our home adventures, but just needed to get this off my chest. I wish that magically, our current house would be swapped with our dream home one day while we're at work, and then I will feel like life can start.
Until then, I have Crosby, Stills and Nash. And one day, this song will be about us.